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WHAT IS QUIET-QUITTING IN A RELATIONSHIP?


You must have heard about quiet-quitting a job. Quiet quitting in a job means you perform all your tasks and duties, report on time, and fulfill your job's basic requirements. Still, you stop going above and beyond these to perform. When this happens, your colleagues or boss may notice. They tend to enforce more things on you to boost performance, or try to motivate you. Somehow, when you have mentally resigned, you no longer let either of those efforts affect you. There is peace in knowing that there is no commitment here, and you are not required to go beyond your comfort zone to improve yourself.


The same logic applies to relationships when one partner has mentally and emotionally distanced themselves. Still, they are fulfilling essential roles and responsibilities that are expected of them.


Why does quiet-quitting happen in relationships?


  • You've struggled with a problem too long in the relationship where there seems to be no apparent solution.

  • Your emotions have been hurt for too long, and your expectations have been unfulfilled, where expressing either has not led to a change.

  • You feel you have given your all to the relationship but haven't received enough.

  • You've met someone with who you feel a stronger connection and comfort than your current partner.

  • You've felt more guilty and blamed in the relationship than appreciated and acknowledged

  • You have not felt like a priority in your partner's life for a long time.

  • Most importantly, you are afraid of confrontation or lack the courage to openly discuss your issues with your partner, so you silently quit.

What can you do if your partner has quiet-quit the relationship?

Some relationships do come with an expiry date. You still enjoy each others' company, but that does not mean it is fulfilling and happy for both of you. Sometimes both partners want very different things in their lives. And in the long run, these goals do not complement each other. Also, both partners often differ significantly in emotional intelligence and personality. That can create extreme misunderstandings in the relationship.

  • Do not take it personally: If your partner has quietly quit the relationship, it is for reasons that could not be addressed over the relationship. Whether you tried to address these issues or not is irrelevant here. Were you at fault? Probably. You can always introspect if you pay enough attention to your partner's needs and feelings. However, as a rule, it's never because of just one partner when relationships break. It is because the relationship was fundamentally damaged. You will see it when the time is right for you. So, try not to take your partner's quiet quitting personally.


  • Bring it up before your partner does: If you notice your partner has mentally left the relationship, bring it up with them. Let them know you'll not allow them to disrespect you by being caught unawares when they quit.


  • Too many efforts to revive the relationship will only make your partner drift apart: If you pursue your partner more than before, if they have quit the relationship, then they will only withdraw. Your attempts at revival will only be perceived as annoying or desperate.


  • Try to understand that some problems in the relationship can never be resolved. It is best to walk away than spend time, energy, and effort in addressing those issues: There are relationships where some issues are gridlocked. Meaning there is and never will be a solution to those. Only empathy and communication can make you live with those issues. So try not to break your head too much over why things went wrong and what you could've done to resolve them. Also, you can genuinely walk away if your partner has quite- quit the relationship.

Quiet-quitting in relationships is hard to digest because your partner broke up with you way before the relationship broke up. You are caught in a whirlpool of emotions, which can get overwhelming. Once you realize your partner has quiet-quit, you can actually do something about it to preserve your dignity, self-esteem, and sense of self.



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